{ HUGE SIGH ...}

So the last couple of days have been really reaaallly busy...

It feels like time and work stood still while i was away on leave ;( --- lately my desk has managed to turn FENG SHUI to SHUI FENG no longer do i consider it my-harmonious-get-away-from-home-that-pays !! ;(

I COnfess #4 :: That sometimes i get so wrapped in what am doing, that i literally neglect all other aspects of my life.

Through all the craziness, i have managed to stick to my resolution to read! read! and read some more! the 80/20 Principle has been a great how-to-do guide lately.

I decided to put together my EVERYTHING-I HAVE-ALWAYS-WANTED-TO-DO list  and start on it ASAP! am focusing on the things that i love to do... as i work towards other things in my life ;) My list will keep expanding as i go along :)

1. Drive a MANUAL Car!! --- woos! my justification has always been my eye-hand coordination just wont work with a manual, unless i have an emergency like say, i over-beat the ONLY tub of fresh whipping cream and my order is due for delivery in less than an hour--aaaand the person i sent for more cream brought me CHOCOLATE??! so, i take the car keys and say bite me!

2. Finally, enroll for the coveted advanced Cake Classes!! --- and STOP drooooooling over other people's master creations!

3. Finally register my Business Name!! --- Opening my publisher and admiring my logo and soon-to-be business cards will NOT get me there!!

4.  Enroll for Spanish Classes --- the real thing peps! clearly distance learning has not been happening. More distance less learning!! por favor ;)

5. At least ANOTHER professional certification???---huh?? what say you???---yeah??

6. Take a GIANT leap of FAITH, literally ---- Faith, its just me and you ;) lets do this!

7. Develop a NO QUITTER  attitude.
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 Plus I've VOWED to start saving up for a major holiday (long term in the near future )! am thinking the Islands..perhaps. we'll see

{ For Friendships Vs. Words }

" I never ask for nothing I don't demand for myself | Honesty. Loyalty. Friends. then wealth | Death before dishonor and I tell you what else | I tighten my belt before I ask for help | foolish pride is what has held me together through the years | I just play the cards am dealt| I can't say I never knelt before God and asked for better cards at times to no avail |" (Justify My Thug_Jay Z)

iConfess #2

I value my my friendships!! I live by the 100% rule.. give your 100% and walkaway whole. Am not sure if that works for me or against me most of the times??? I am not confrontational...I don't do it on the spot cos I like to marinate over a situation to avoid overreacting. When I still can't wrap it around my head, I speak up.

 :. Did She Just Say That? .:


I walked away feeling very demeaned, disrespected and hurt. I was too shocked to say anything on the spot because my mind went completely blank. It was not what was said, but how it was said...gosh! Who am I kidding? It was everything. I pulled a 'Peps' and told myself it was NO BIG DEAL! so, I went on with things like nothing happened. But deep down,something did happen. I started to question everything...

I Questioned myself----
I Questioned my integrity as a friend ----
I Questioned my friend ---
I Questioned her perception of me. ----
I Questioned why she'd say that or even think that. I still couldn't wrap it around my head, so I spoke up.

{ O.P.P. (Other Person's Property)???

About two or three months ago i lost my BEAUTIFUL polka dot tote umbrella!! i forgot it on a seat in a matatu on a rainy day
This umbrella was special to me.. it was a gift from my Mother dearest from one of her trips to the Americas. I had it for 3 polka dot years.. It would fit snugly in my bag, but when opened it would be large enough to cover three people!!
In the 3 years i'd had it, i NEVER came across one like it around... it was unique!!
I knew, that i would spot it one day.

Yesterday, i was in a matatu..it was drizzling.. traffic was yuuurgh!!  
a woman walks past my window carrying MY polka dot tote umbrella!!!! spoiled on one side just like i remember it!!  OMG!!
*heart racing...eyes popping..fast breathing!! -- MY UMBRELLA!!
I watched her...pace around holding MY umbrella.. debating with my not-sensible self  if i should get out of the car and get MY property?!
Is it still considered MY property?? ---  now that she found it, do i still have claim to it?
Is it now considered O.P.P?

Peps.

{ HELLO CHANGE ... }

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From: Peps Oreta

Subject: Hello Change

Date: Aug 28 2012 12:33

To: Change

I’m not sure if I should hug you? … Kiss you? … or punch you in the face?
It’s never easy seeing you.. even at a prearranged date, time and place.
I must admit, you still make  me uneasy, nervous and jittery.
Could it be, because I associate you with every negative emotion possible?  Or maybe its because I have figured you out and I now presume that I know you so well! *smirk*
Sometimes you come off as decent, kind and loving but most times you are arrogant, rude and sneak up on me.. messing up my balance!!
Am not afraid of you, i just don't like having you around...

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From: Change

Subject: RE: Hello Change

Date: Aug 28 2012 12:36

To: Peps Oreta

Do you think you'll ever be able to let go of your "control-freak" way of life? Yes. I make you an emotional wreck. Only because i challenge your comfort zone and/or your safety.
I don't think you consider change a bad thing in general. I think what you don't really like is 'to be' or 'to get' changed.
As humans, uncertainty makes you the most uncomfortable. It's natural. If things stay the same over time it's easier for you to settle in and operate on "auto pilot". Even from an evolutionary standpoint I wouldn't be surprised if your survival instinct influences you to lean toward the predictable?
If you don't have change, what do you have?
 

“There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.”
Winston Churchill, 1874-1965

 Accept Me ... Love Me .. and i will steer you in the right direction. Pain not withstanding. I for-see what you can't perceive. Things will always work out in the end. Trust me!

Are you smirking at me Peps Oreta?

 Change. 

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